A New Unexpected Meeting With My Shadow

As an explorer, I am dedicated to navigate through all the corners of my psyche. It is self-healing. It is fascinating. I already wrote about self-discovery and integration of a childhood trauma. Among other tools, I rely on ayahuasca, a psychoactive brew from the Amazonian jungle, to unlock and get access to unconscious material buried deep inside my psyche. And during another ceremony with ayahuasca, I met a new part of my unconscious that was broughtRead more

I Met Two Fucking Warriors

My journey towards self-healing and self-realization, among other powerful tools I rely on, involves a deep exploration into the realm of ayahuasca. Ayahuasca is a psychoactive brew that has been used for hundreds of years as a traditional spiritual medicine in ceremonies among the indigenous peoples of the Amazon. I drink it in a very specific context and co-healing ceremonies. The container for these ceremonies has been established and refined by generations of people who haveRead more

Shadow-Work: Why This Gym Guy Is Pissing Me Off?

I love working out at the gym, especially in mornings as I already talked about. And in these last weeks, I kept seeing on a regular basis this very guy. We have both similar body types and more or less same height. But he is way bigger than I am. At many occasions when I see him there, he might actually be one of the biggest men working out around. He clearly focuses his workouts onRead more

This Is My Mission

The masculine is always on the move. Biologically to provide for survival. Historically to explore the world and build it. Ultimately, to seek for freedom and find out our true and deepest selves. As men, at our core, we are on a mission. We need a mission. A mission aligned with the expression of our main archetypes, so the actions we take in the world to live up to it are meaningful to us. AsRead more

From Discovery To Integration Of A Postnatal Trauma

Both my parents come from a Western European country, but with my family, because of my father’s job, we spent many years abroad in different continents, far, far away from my parents’ home country, geographically, socioeconomically, and culturally. We were living as expatriates. And it turns out that I was conceived, and was born, in one of them, in the hot moist of some tropical latitudes. From chronic disease to inner self-exploration I came backRead more

The Hero’s Journey Of A Pick-Up Artist – The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly

Mr. K is a significant figure of the daygame scene initiated in London more than a decade ago, he is a player. He was part of a bunch of geeks who decided to retro-engineer the art of attracting and seducing women in the streets, in pure daylight. These guys didn’t invent the wheel, since the practice of hitting on women in the streets had been extensively practiced for ages I believe. But until the Internet’s era,Read more

How I Discovered I Was Not Gay, My (Too) Long Journey

It took me 20 years to realize I was not sexually interested by men. And retrospectively, it has been quite an interesting journey around denial, shame, anxiety, self-introspection, and self-realization. When the question of my sexual orientation popped up the first time, I was in my late teenage years, when I realized that sometimes, my attention in public places was directed to men’s crotches. I just wanted to look there as if an unconscious driveRead more

Experiencing My Fragmented Self

Before I got myself interested by consciousness exploration, I thought about my self, the representative of my personal identity and traits of characters, as a monolithic block made of a dense and uniform material with clear boundaries. However, and thanks to psychedelic-induced states, I soon realized that this picture was actually far from my reality. Indeed, in altered states of consciousness, the raw complexity and chaotic nature of my psyche appeared clearly. I experienced the thoughts,Read more

My First Experiences Being Tied

It was with some excitement and a bit of fear that I decided for the first-time last year to get tied by a man I didn’t know anything about, and by taking part of his personal art project. Mr. A had been practicing the art of Japanese ropes for years and pushed his passion to the point of proposing rope therapy sessions for people willing to explore surrender, stillness, and healing. I felt a bitRead more