Category: #Self-Realization

How I Discovered I Was Not Gay, My (Too) Long Journey

It took me 20 years to realize I was not sexually interested by men. And retrospectively, it has been quite an interesting journey around denial, shame, anxiety, self-introspection, and self-realization. When the question of my sexual orientation popped up the first time, I was in my late teenage years, when I realized that sometimes, my attention in public places was directed to men’s crotches. I just wanted to look there as if an unconscious driveContinue reading

Experiencing My Fragmented Self

Before I got myself interested by consciousness exploration, I thought about my self, the representative of my personal identity and traits of characters, as a monolithic block made of a dense and uniform material with clear boundaries. However, and thanks to psychedelic-induced states, I soon realized that this picture was actually far from my reality. Indeed, in altered states of consciousness, the raw complexity and chaotic nature of my psyche appeared clearly. I experienced the thoughts,Continue reading